By Lenora Grimaud
“Nevertheless, let your will be done, not mine.” (Luke 22:42)
Jesus came, not to do his own will but his Father’s will. His Father’s will was for him to reveal the Father’s love to the world; a love that puts others first, and is unconditional and sacrificial—A man can have no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13). He came to save the world—For God sent his Son into the world not to condemn the world, but so that through him the world might be saved (John 3:17). He came to deliver humanity from evil, selfishness, and sin—which makes us slaves, and leads to death—I tell you most solemnly, everyone who commits sin is a slave. Now the slave’s place in the house is not assured, but the son’s place is assured. So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:34-36). He came to reveal the name of the Father and to make him known to all humanity through his disciples—I have made your name known to the men you took from the world to give me (John 17:6). He came to establish the Kingdom of God upon the earth; a kingdom of peace, harmony, unity, and love by bringing everyone into a personal relationship with the Father—unless a man is born through water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God (John 3:5). He came to bring the Holy Spirit in order to transform humanity into the image of God—you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and then you will be my witnesses (Acts 1:8). This was the will of the Father, and Jesus was ready to abandon his personal human will for his own good, to the Father for the good of all humanity—I have come from heaven, not to do my own will, but to do the will of the one who sent me (John 6:38).
While it is true that we have a free will and the freedom of choice, we frequently choose death instead of life. Because of sin, our will has been corrupted. It naturally leans toward self-gratification and selfishness instead of love. We seek out that which gives us pleasure in the moment, instead of that which brings eternal spiritual joy and life. Our spirit seeks God—goodness, beauty, truth, and love—but, our perverse and unredeemed will seeks its own pleasure. When it comes to our “will,” there are three paths open to us: choosing to gratify ourselves by doing our own will, independent of God (narcissism); choosing to hand over our will to another person, place or thing (dependency & codependency); or choosing to unite our will with God in order to do the will of the Father (altruism & divine love). Eve’s choice is an example of the first path, and Adam’s choice is an example of the second path. Jesus came to restore humanity by choosing the third path.
Narcissism: 1 Excessive self-love in whatever form; characterized by a preoccupation with oneself to the exclusion of others; 2 self-centered; limited in outlook or concern to one’s own activities and needs; 3 an exaggerated sense of self-importance. The narcissistic person is centered in his own self. He makes his self his God. He sees the world and everything in it as revolving around him, and expects everyone to be subservient to his needs. His own happiness is his goal in life.
Dependency & Codependency: 1 In Clinical Psychology a person is said to be dependent on someone or something to the extent that he needs that thing or person in order to go about his regular activities. 2 A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition. The dependent or codependent person is not free. He has given over his will to others and loses his own self (idolatry). In a marriage where one or both spouses surrender their will to the other, it is a codependent relationship rather than a true marriage. It can only be a true marriage when both spouses unite their will with the will of God—love—in order to freely give themselves to each other.
Altruism: 1 The opposite of selfishness; being concerned for others rather than oneself (or one’s self). 2 Unselfish regard for or devotion to the welfare of others. 3 Behavior that is not beneficial to or may be harmful to itself but that benefits others. This is the model that Jesus lived and called others to. We can only be truly free when we freely choose to abandon our will to God—become subservient to God—because God’s will is our perfect good. God is love, and only by giving our will over to divine love can we hope to be truly free and truly happy—For anyone who wants to save his life will lose it; but anyone who loses his life for my sake will find it (Mat. 16:25). The altruistic person is centered in God, rather than himself; God is the center of his life and all life. He sees everyone as his brother and sister, and all are equal. He sees all of life as good.
God is the only one we can surrender our will to without losing our freedom, because He respects our free will and always asks for our permission. Jesus, like his mother, Mary, said “yes” to God, allowing the Father to work his will through them. Jesus said: No one takes it [my life] from me; I lay it down of my own free will (John 10:18). To abandon ourselves to the will of God is to trust in God enough to accept our total dependence on Him for everything. We are never separated from Him; He is in us and we are in Him. Surrendering to the will of God is not something we do once and for all, but a day by day, moment by moment, free choice to unite our will with God’s will. We never lose our free will, but freely choose to will the will of God. By abandoning ourselves to the will of God, we do not lose our will, we find it, and our true self, as well.
Without this union with God, made possible through the merits of Jesus Christ, and through the Holy Spirit, if we are a teacher we will most likely be a false teacher; if we are a prophet we will most likely be a false prophet; if we claim to be a son of God, we will most likely be a false Christ. To be what we were created to be, to be our true self, we have to be able to say with Jesus, Father, let your will be done, not mine.
God gave us a free will and will never take it away from us. We are free to love him or reject him. He does not punish us for rejecting him. The consequences of our own choices are its own punishment. We are judged and condemned by our own free will. We reap what we sew. The only thing that can save us from the effects of our choice to sin and to do evil is the mercy of God. But, we have to accept his mercy! If we don’t, we suffer the consequences of those choices. All rational people believe in “cause and effect.” The Buddhists call it “Karma.” It is a “Law of Nature.” Someone always pays the price for sin and evil. If we manage to get away with something, someone pays for it—usually the poor. This is why Christians are called to do penance. But, without the sacrifice of love made by Jesus Christ, all our penance would be in vain.
The worst consequence of sin and evil is that it destroys love and goodness within our soul, to the point that we are no longer able to love or receive love. We are left without hope and faith, and given over to pride, despair, and insanity. If we had no sin in us, our will would be the same as the Father’s will. Why would any sane person choose death rather than accept mercy? It all boils down to “pride.” We would rather be our own God and die in our sins rather than accept mercy from the true God and live. Pride is the root of all sin and evil. We need to recognize that, as the result of sin and evil, our human will has been corrupted, making it necessary for us to cry out with Jesus, Father, let your will be done, not mine!
Monday
Tuesday
A PROPHETIC WORD FROM THE LORD: March 28, 1978
by Lenora Grimaud
The following prophecy came to me during prayer in 1978, and I wrote it down. I was part of a Charismatic Prayer Group, and shared it with others at the time. There seemed to be many other prophecies received by people throughout the Charismatic Renewal that were very similar, and seemed to confirm the message of this particular prophecy. Recently, during prayer, I felt that the Lord was telling me to share this prophecy again, that it is very relevant for our present times. I pray that you will receive it according to the measure of faith that the Lord has given you. Whatever does not seem right to you, just set it aside.
My people, I am calling you to see my wounds amongst you. I am calling you to walk with me on the road to Calvary—to share one another’s trials and to help each other with your crosses. I am calling you to walk together, to be one, to be bound together as I was bound to the column. I am calling you to weep out of compassion for one another, to have your hearts rent for one another. I am calling you to help the weary and downtrodden, to wipe each other’s faces. I am calling you to feed the hungry, to give drink to those who are thirsty. Feed their minds with my Word, the mind of Christ. Feed their spirits with the power of my Holy Spirit. Feed their bodies from your own table and the labor of your own hands. I am calling you to anoint each other’s wounds, to heal each other, to lead each other to rest—to my rest—and to eternal life. I am calling you to clothe each other with my armor, to build each other up. I am calling you to remain at each other’s side—waiting patiently for resurrection, for new life to come forth in one another.
Look around you, my people—look at my wounded body. Let your hearts be stirred to action. There are some members of my body that are lonely, that feel like strangers. They feel deserted. They cry out for community, for relationship, not just once a week, but daily. If you have a living relationship with me, you must have a living relationship with each other. There are those amongst you who have no one to celebrate special Feasts with, and so they eat alone.
I am calling you to a radical commitment to one another. Your brother’s problems are your problems. You must care for one another as you would your own body. I am calling you to stretch out your hands and to reveal your wounds to each other. Let no one hide himself from his brother.
I am calling you to bring your children to me. I want to prepare a place for them within my body where they can be nurtured and come to know the voice of their Shepherd. Do not leave them outside or they will be attacked and carried off by wolves. My heart cries out for my little ones. Bring them to me. Let me bless them. My Church is not a haven for adults. It is a home for all ages.
Listen, my people, I have not come to condemn you. I have come to prepare you. I want you to be ready for what is to come. In the past you have celebrated the Lenten Season by choosing you own deserts—your own sacrifices and fasts. But, a Lenten Season is coming upon the World of which no man has any control. I am leading you into a desert that you did not choose. I am preparing you for a time of glory, for victory. Trust me! Follow me! If you love me and love one another, the desert cannot hurt you. You will be victorious and through you I will save the world.
I have warned you that days of darkness are coming upon the world, days of trial and tribulation. A great light will soon go out in Rome. When that happens, greater darkness will come upon the earth.
Do not rely on any of the supports you have had in the past. I am going to strip you of everything you depend on now so that you will depend only on me. For my power is strongest in weakness. I will pour out all the gifts of my Spirit and when you are completely empty you will be able to fully yield to my Spirit and my power will be manifest in you and through you.
Be prepared to lose everything for my sake and you will gain everything. You will have to suffer for a little while but your sorrow will be turned into joy. Nature will cry out in birth pangs and there will be famines and floods and earthquakes. But, I will renew the face of the earth. Trust in Me. Many people will be given over to evil, rejecting God and hating all that is good and holy. You will be hated and persecuted, and some will even be martyrs for my name.
I have told you all this so that your faith will not be shaken. Band yourselves together in me, for I will triumph and my glory will be seen upon the earth. A new day is coming and when that day comes your joy will be great. In that day you will have everything. But, you must let me prepare you. From now on a man’s household will extend to his community, his brothers and sisters in Christ. It has been said “A woman’s place is in the home.” From now on a woman’s home extends to the community. It has been said, “Put your house in order.” But, I say to you “Put your community in order.”
If you do not want your love to diminish, then keep my commandments.
Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Make up with one another while you still have time. You must seek to heal all wounds of division and strife. Humble yourself before one another. If you really want to, you can make peace without compromising the truth.
Do not resent you brother’s every offense and never act in a fit of passion. Pray first, and let go of your anger before acting. I have no favorites. If you are angry when you correct your brother, you are as guilty as he is—unless it is righteous anger, which is seen only in the perfect.
Do not find fault before making a thorough inquiry—first, reflect and pray, then give a reprimand.
Jealously guard one another’s reputation and good name. Do not allow anyone to speak against your brother. What they say about your brother they say about you, too, because you are one. Remember, your enemy will pile up false accusations against you to turn you against each other. Do not be quick to listen to all you hear. Do not be gossip mongers.
Listen before you answer and do not interrupt a speech in the middle. Do not argue about something that does not concern you. Support one another; don’t knock each other down.
Do not put on airs when you are in difficulties. Do not be afraid or ashamed to let your brother see your vulnerability. Your vulnerability is precious to me and moves my heart to compassion. Be honest with yourselves and with one another. Do not repress your feelings. If your brother has offended you, then go to him, humbly, and make it known to him. You may discover that it was unintended, that your hurt was in vain.
Make each other’s needs your own. Suffer with those who are suffering, rejoice with those who are rejoicing. Be patient with one another and allow for each other’s mistakes and weaknesses. Do not criticize or rashly judge one another. Your vision is limited and you do not see the whole of a man’s heart. Teach one another. Build each other up in my love. Be gentle when you need to correct.
Do not make comparisons, comparing one person with another or one group with another. Do not take sides, one against another. Have nothing to do with factions. Do not judge a man by his outward appearance, or whether he is rich or poor, young or old, black or white, educated or uneducated, Protestant or Catholic, layman or clergy. My choice has nothing to do with these things. I choose whom I will.
Show your love for me by accepting all that I allow to happen to you with joy and thanksgiving. Do not grumble or complain. Trust in me. Praise me in adversity, in trials, in suffering, in tribulation.
My people, the world will not be changed until they can say “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.” You are my servants and I send you forth in my Name. If you remain in my name, you shall truly be blessed and the world will come to acknowledge this as they proclaim “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.” You also must say to your brother: “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.” Acknowledge one another as the image of God and see me in your brother and sister. Through you, and my Spirit living in you, all of mankind shall be recreated in the image and likeness of God and my glory will fill all the earth.
The following prophecy came to me during prayer in 1978, and I wrote it down. I was part of a Charismatic Prayer Group, and shared it with others at the time. There seemed to be many other prophecies received by people throughout the Charismatic Renewal that were very similar, and seemed to confirm the message of this particular prophecy. Recently, during prayer, I felt that the Lord was telling me to share this prophecy again, that it is very relevant for our present times. I pray that you will receive it according to the measure of faith that the Lord has given you. Whatever does not seem right to you, just set it aside.
My people, I am calling you to see my wounds amongst you. I am calling you to walk with me on the road to Calvary—to share one another’s trials and to help each other with your crosses. I am calling you to walk together, to be one, to be bound together as I was bound to the column. I am calling you to weep out of compassion for one another, to have your hearts rent for one another. I am calling you to help the weary and downtrodden, to wipe each other’s faces. I am calling you to feed the hungry, to give drink to those who are thirsty. Feed their minds with my Word, the mind of Christ. Feed their spirits with the power of my Holy Spirit. Feed their bodies from your own table and the labor of your own hands. I am calling you to anoint each other’s wounds, to heal each other, to lead each other to rest—to my rest—and to eternal life. I am calling you to clothe each other with my armor, to build each other up. I am calling you to remain at each other’s side—waiting patiently for resurrection, for new life to come forth in one another.
Look around you, my people—look at my wounded body. Let your hearts be stirred to action. There are some members of my body that are lonely, that feel like strangers. They feel deserted. They cry out for community, for relationship, not just once a week, but daily. If you have a living relationship with me, you must have a living relationship with each other. There are those amongst you who have no one to celebrate special Feasts with, and so they eat alone.
I am calling you to a radical commitment to one another. Your brother’s problems are your problems. You must care for one another as you would your own body. I am calling you to stretch out your hands and to reveal your wounds to each other. Let no one hide himself from his brother.
I am calling you to bring your children to me. I want to prepare a place for them within my body where they can be nurtured and come to know the voice of their Shepherd. Do not leave them outside or they will be attacked and carried off by wolves. My heart cries out for my little ones. Bring them to me. Let me bless them. My Church is not a haven for adults. It is a home for all ages.
Listen, my people, I have not come to condemn you. I have come to prepare you. I want you to be ready for what is to come. In the past you have celebrated the Lenten Season by choosing you own deserts—your own sacrifices and fasts. But, a Lenten Season is coming upon the World of which no man has any control. I am leading you into a desert that you did not choose. I am preparing you for a time of glory, for victory. Trust me! Follow me! If you love me and love one another, the desert cannot hurt you. You will be victorious and through you I will save the world.
I have warned you that days of darkness are coming upon the world, days of trial and tribulation. A great light will soon go out in Rome. When that happens, greater darkness will come upon the earth.
Do not rely on any of the supports you have had in the past. I am going to strip you of everything you depend on now so that you will depend only on me. For my power is strongest in weakness. I will pour out all the gifts of my Spirit and when you are completely empty you will be able to fully yield to my Spirit and my power will be manifest in you and through you.
Be prepared to lose everything for my sake and you will gain everything. You will have to suffer for a little while but your sorrow will be turned into joy. Nature will cry out in birth pangs and there will be famines and floods and earthquakes. But, I will renew the face of the earth. Trust in Me. Many people will be given over to evil, rejecting God and hating all that is good and holy. You will be hated and persecuted, and some will even be martyrs for my name.
I have told you all this so that your faith will not be shaken. Band yourselves together in me, for I will triumph and my glory will be seen upon the earth. A new day is coming and when that day comes your joy will be great. In that day you will have everything. But, you must let me prepare you. From now on a man’s household will extend to his community, his brothers and sisters in Christ. It has been said “A woman’s place is in the home.” From now on a woman’s home extends to the community. It has been said, “Put your house in order.” But, I say to you “Put your community in order.”
If you do not want your love to diminish, then keep my commandments.
Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Make up with one another while you still have time. You must seek to heal all wounds of division and strife. Humble yourself before one another. If you really want to, you can make peace without compromising the truth.
Do not resent you brother’s every offense and never act in a fit of passion. Pray first, and let go of your anger before acting. I have no favorites. If you are angry when you correct your brother, you are as guilty as he is—unless it is righteous anger, which is seen only in the perfect.
Do not find fault before making a thorough inquiry—first, reflect and pray, then give a reprimand.
Jealously guard one another’s reputation and good name. Do not allow anyone to speak against your brother. What they say about your brother they say about you, too, because you are one. Remember, your enemy will pile up false accusations against you to turn you against each other. Do not be quick to listen to all you hear. Do not be gossip mongers.
Listen before you answer and do not interrupt a speech in the middle. Do not argue about something that does not concern you. Support one another; don’t knock each other down.
Do not put on airs when you are in difficulties. Do not be afraid or ashamed to let your brother see your vulnerability. Your vulnerability is precious to me and moves my heart to compassion. Be honest with yourselves and with one another. Do not repress your feelings. If your brother has offended you, then go to him, humbly, and make it known to him. You may discover that it was unintended, that your hurt was in vain.
Make each other’s needs your own. Suffer with those who are suffering, rejoice with those who are rejoicing. Be patient with one another and allow for each other’s mistakes and weaknesses. Do not criticize or rashly judge one another. Your vision is limited and you do not see the whole of a man’s heart. Teach one another. Build each other up in my love. Be gentle when you need to correct.
Do not make comparisons, comparing one person with another or one group with another. Do not take sides, one against another. Have nothing to do with factions. Do not judge a man by his outward appearance, or whether he is rich or poor, young or old, black or white, educated or uneducated, Protestant or Catholic, layman or clergy. My choice has nothing to do with these things. I choose whom I will.
Show your love for me by accepting all that I allow to happen to you with joy and thanksgiving. Do not grumble or complain. Trust in me. Praise me in adversity, in trials, in suffering, in tribulation.
My people, the world will not be changed until they can say “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.” You are my servants and I send you forth in my Name. If you remain in my name, you shall truly be blessed and the world will come to acknowledge this as they proclaim “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.” You also must say to your brother: “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.” Acknowledge one another as the image of God and see me in your brother and sister. Through you, and my Spirit living in you, all of mankind shall be recreated in the image and likeness of God and my glory will fill all the earth.
Wednesday
MARRIAGE . . . "The Two Become One Body"
By Lenora Grimaud
The “Institution of Marriage” has gone through many transitions over the past centuries, but from the very beginning, God intended for Marriage to be a Sacrament, two becoming one body in Jesus Christ, the “Image of God.” As Bishop Sheen has said: “It takes three to get married: a man, a woman, and Jesus Christ.” Ever since the beginning of time, Marriage has been on a roller coaster ride towards its fulfillment as an authentic, Sacramental Marriage.
The 20th Century produced a very dramatic shift in our understanding of the Theology of Marriage, and Marriage as a Sacrament. Before this shift took place, our culture, including the Church of our times, had a very different concept of what an authentic Marriage is. Our culture had a very different concept of what it means to be a whole man and what it means to be a whole woman, as well. Naturally, this concept would also distort the meaning of two becoming one body. Women were not regarded as having equal worth and dignity to men. At best, the attitude of society regarding women as brides, was rather like that of a “mail-order bride”—a woman who was contracted to be a wife in exchange for security and the basic necessities of life. Women were regarded as an asset or possession of their husbands, to serve his needs and goals in life. Women were not equal partners with individual or equal rights of their own. The well-being of the man was top priority, and the well-being of the woman was not really even a consideration. The world revolved around the man. These concepts were usually not preached or spoken out loud, but in reality, this was the mind-set of society and our culture. This kind of mind-set could never produce a truly Sacramental Marriage. It is a contradiction to the Gospel of Life and of Jesus Christ. This kind of mind-set is contrary to the Kingdom of God.
In spite of the cultural mind-set of the times, many Christian couples, after having a total conversion of hearts and receiving the sacramental grace of Marriage, became one body. Even though they lacked an intellectual conversion and still had the cultural mind-set of the times, their conversion of heart changed their reality, their attitude, and their vision of life, and the two became one body. When two become one body, each spouse loves the other as much, or more than their own self. Their marriage is a covenant, rather than a contract. They see themselves as equal in dignity and worth. Their lives do not revolve around only the husband, but also the wife, and every child that is brought into the family. No longer is the well-being of the man the primary consideration. The physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of every member of the family is equally important. This mutual well-being is the basis for every choice and decision the couple has to make regarding the sanctity of the marriage and the good of each member of the family; and every decision and choice is made together, not just the choice of one of them. They are one—united in everything—not divided or dominated by one or the other of them. Everything is held in common; what belongs to one belongs to both. Their income, property, possessions, awards, honors, accolades, status, position, as well as present and future benefits—earnings, promotions, savings—belong to both of them. Not only do they have an equal share of all their goods, talents, and gifts, they also share in each others sufferings, losses, weaknesses, and disabilities. Any duties or responsibilities one spouse has to family, friends, community, Church, or Country, both spouses have. Whatever sacrifices that one spouse makes to family, friends, community, Church, and County, both spouses make. Whatever happens to one of them happens to both of them. Even their own individual body belongs to both of them, because they are no longer two, but one body.
The human family is a micro-church. The marriage between a man and a woman prefigures the marriage between Christ and his Church. Just as a man and woman become one body in Christ, through marriage, the Church becomes one body—the “body of Christ,” through her union with Jesus. There is no separation between Jesus and the Church because they are one body.
If our life in Christ means anything to you, if love can persuade at all, be united in your convictions and united in your love, with a common purpose and a common mind. That is the one thing which would make me completely happy. There must be no competition among you, no conceit; but everybody is to be self-effacing. Always consider the other person to be better than yourself, so that nobody thinks of his own interests first but everybody thinks of other people's interests instead. (Phil. 2:1-5)
When the shift in the cultural mind-set came about, and women were seen to have equal worth and dignity—when women were seen as persons instead of objects—it had a radical affect upon marriages of couples who lacked a conversion of hearts. Intellectually, they bought the new mind-set, but their reality, vision of life, and attitudes remained the same. They became confused and divided and divorce was on the rampage. Battles over custody of children and divorce settlements ensued. Women resisted the equal rights and entitlements of their husbands, regarding their children and custody of them. Men resisted the equal rights and entitlements of their wives, regarding community property, alimony, and retirement. Those who lacked a conversion of heart saw themselves as “victims” and felt violated by their spouse. This suffering, however, cannot end by one of them giving up their individual rights; that can only lead to abuse and tyranny.
In a marriage where the two become one body, there is no place for revenge, retribution, competition, jealousy, or envy between the spouses; only a couple that are divided and separate, experience such things. There is nothing that they can’t forgive each other for. Whatever they do to their spouse, they do to themselves. Love cannot exist in a person who refuses to forgive another person; they can neither receive nor give love because their heart is hardened.
Divorce and the consequences of divorce still plague our society, today. We cannot forgive because we don’t want to forgive. We want to hold onto our desire for retribution, revenge, and our distorted perception of justice. Unless a person is willing to forgive and let go of their desire for retribution, revenge, and what they perceive to be justice, they will remain in the prison of their own pain. The healing of the wounds and suffering caused by divorce and unjust mind-sets can only come from a conversion of hearts and forgiveness. We cannot forgive those who have hurt us, except through the grace of the Holy Spirit and the will to forgive. But, if we don’t forgive we will continue to live in a prison of pain; a prison that we have built ourselves.
It still takes three to make a truly authentic marriage—a man, a woman, and Jesus Christ. A true marriage needs the mind-set that comes from Christ—to “put on the mind of Christ.” Both, the man and the woman need to have a conversion of heart—to love each other unconditionally until death, as Jesus loves us. An authentic, true, and sacramental marriage still requires that the two become one body.
Beatitudes for the Married:
Blessed are they who do not let the sun go down on their anger and make every attempt to be reconciled before going to sleep. The Son will always shine on their marriage.
Blessed are they who have such mutual support for one another that they strive to not allow themselves to be angry both at the same time, so that all strife and dissension between them may be avoided. The Holy Spirit will always dwell in their house.
Blessed are they who guard their spouse’s reputation and never allow anyone to criticize them. They will be esteemed and respected by their community.
Blessed is the woman whose husband is praised by others, for she knows she has been a loving wife.
Blessed is the man whose wife is praised by others, for he knows he has been a loving husband.
Blessed is the woman who honors her husband in the presence of her children, for her children will call her blessed and reverence their father.
Woe to the woman who ridicules or criticizes her husband in front of her children, for her children will rebel against her and hate their father.
Blessed is the man who honors his wife in front of his children, for his children will honor him and cherish their mother.
Woe to the man who ridicules or criticizes his wife in front of his children, for they will rebel against him and treat their mothers with scorn.
Blessed is the woman who is humble and submissive, for her husband will treat her like a queen.
Blessed is the man who is dependable and faithful, for his wife will have confidence and trust in him.
Blessed is the woman who keeps her eyes fixed on her husband’s virtues instead of his faults, for his faults will disappear.
Blessed is the man who keeps his eyes fixed on his wife’s virtues instead of her faults, for he makes her holy.
Blessed is the woman who shows affection to her husband, for she makes him strong and courageous.
Blessed is the man who shows affection to his wife, for he makes her gentle and kind.
Blessed are they who do not judge or analyze one another, for they shall not be judged.
Blessed are they who forgive their spouse, for they shall be forgiven.
Blessed are they who are made righteous by God, for they will impart righteousness to their children.
Blessed are they who are detached from everything, for everything belongs to them.
Blessed are they who know how to listen, for they shall be heard when they speak.
Blessed are they who renew their marriage vows, daily, for their honeymoon will never be over.
The “Institution of Marriage” has gone through many transitions over the past centuries, but from the very beginning, God intended for Marriage to be a Sacrament, two becoming one body in Jesus Christ, the “Image of God.” As Bishop Sheen has said: “It takes three to get married: a man, a woman, and Jesus Christ.” Ever since the beginning of time, Marriage has been on a roller coaster ride towards its fulfillment as an authentic, Sacramental Marriage.
The 20th Century produced a very dramatic shift in our understanding of the Theology of Marriage, and Marriage as a Sacrament. Before this shift took place, our culture, including the Church of our times, had a very different concept of what an authentic Marriage is. Our culture had a very different concept of what it means to be a whole man and what it means to be a whole woman, as well. Naturally, this concept would also distort the meaning of two becoming one body. Women were not regarded as having equal worth and dignity to men. At best, the attitude of society regarding women as brides, was rather like that of a “mail-order bride”—a woman who was contracted to be a wife in exchange for security and the basic necessities of life. Women were regarded as an asset or possession of their husbands, to serve his needs and goals in life. Women were not equal partners with individual or equal rights of their own. The well-being of the man was top priority, and the well-being of the woman was not really even a consideration. The world revolved around the man. These concepts were usually not preached or spoken out loud, but in reality, this was the mind-set of society and our culture. This kind of mind-set could never produce a truly Sacramental Marriage. It is a contradiction to the Gospel of Life and of Jesus Christ. This kind of mind-set is contrary to the Kingdom of God.
In spite of the cultural mind-set of the times, many Christian couples, after having a total conversion of hearts and receiving the sacramental grace of Marriage, became one body. Even though they lacked an intellectual conversion and still had the cultural mind-set of the times, their conversion of heart changed their reality, their attitude, and their vision of life, and the two became one body. When two become one body, each spouse loves the other as much, or more than their own self. Their marriage is a covenant, rather than a contract. They see themselves as equal in dignity and worth. Their lives do not revolve around only the husband, but also the wife, and every child that is brought into the family. No longer is the well-being of the man the primary consideration. The physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of every member of the family is equally important. This mutual well-being is the basis for every choice and decision the couple has to make regarding the sanctity of the marriage and the good of each member of the family; and every decision and choice is made together, not just the choice of one of them. They are one—united in everything—not divided or dominated by one or the other of them. Everything is held in common; what belongs to one belongs to both. Their income, property, possessions, awards, honors, accolades, status, position, as well as present and future benefits—earnings, promotions, savings—belong to both of them. Not only do they have an equal share of all their goods, talents, and gifts, they also share in each others sufferings, losses, weaknesses, and disabilities. Any duties or responsibilities one spouse has to family, friends, community, Church, or Country, both spouses have. Whatever sacrifices that one spouse makes to family, friends, community, Church, and County, both spouses make. Whatever happens to one of them happens to both of them. Even their own individual body belongs to both of them, because they are no longer two, but one body.
The human family is a micro-church. The marriage between a man and a woman prefigures the marriage between Christ and his Church. Just as a man and woman become one body in Christ, through marriage, the Church becomes one body—the “body of Christ,” through her union with Jesus. There is no separation between Jesus and the Church because they are one body.
If our life in Christ means anything to you, if love can persuade at all, be united in your convictions and united in your love, with a common purpose and a common mind. That is the one thing which would make me completely happy. There must be no competition among you, no conceit; but everybody is to be self-effacing. Always consider the other person to be better than yourself, so that nobody thinks of his own interests first but everybody thinks of other people's interests instead. (Phil. 2:1-5)
When the shift in the cultural mind-set came about, and women were seen to have equal worth and dignity—when women were seen as persons instead of objects—it had a radical affect upon marriages of couples who lacked a conversion of hearts. Intellectually, they bought the new mind-set, but their reality, vision of life, and attitudes remained the same. They became confused and divided and divorce was on the rampage. Battles over custody of children and divorce settlements ensued. Women resisted the equal rights and entitlements of their husbands, regarding their children and custody of them. Men resisted the equal rights and entitlements of their wives, regarding community property, alimony, and retirement. Those who lacked a conversion of heart saw themselves as “victims” and felt violated by their spouse. This suffering, however, cannot end by one of them giving up their individual rights; that can only lead to abuse and tyranny.
In a marriage where the two become one body, there is no place for revenge, retribution, competition, jealousy, or envy between the spouses; only a couple that are divided and separate, experience such things. There is nothing that they can’t forgive each other for. Whatever they do to their spouse, they do to themselves. Love cannot exist in a person who refuses to forgive another person; they can neither receive nor give love because their heart is hardened.
Divorce and the consequences of divorce still plague our society, today. We cannot forgive because we don’t want to forgive. We want to hold onto our desire for retribution, revenge, and our distorted perception of justice. Unless a person is willing to forgive and let go of their desire for retribution, revenge, and what they perceive to be justice, they will remain in the prison of their own pain. The healing of the wounds and suffering caused by divorce and unjust mind-sets can only come from a conversion of hearts and forgiveness. We cannot forgive those who have hurt us, except through the grace of the Holy Spirit and the will to forgive. But, if we don’t forgive we will continue to live in a prison of pain; a prison that we have built ourselves.
It still takes three to make a truly authentic marriage—a man, a woman, and Jesus Christ. A true marriage needs the mind-set that comes from Christ—to “put on the mind of Christ.” Both, the man and the woman need to have a conversion of heart—to love each other unconditionally until death, as Jesus loves us. An authentic, true, and sacramental marriage still requires that the two become one body.
Beatitudes for the Married:
Blessed are they who do not let the sun go down on their anger and make every attempt to be reconciled before going to sleep. The Son will always shine on their marriage.
Blessed are they who have such mutual support for one another that they strive to not allow themselves to be angry both at the same time, so that all strife and dissension between them may be avoided. The Holy Spirit will always dwell in their house.
Blessed are they who guard their spouse’s reputation and never allow anyone to criticize them. They will be esteemed and respected by their community.
Blessed is the woman whose husband is praised by others, for she knows she has been a loving wife.
Blessed is the man whose wife is praised by others, for he knows he has been a loving husband.
Blessed is the woman who honors her husband in the presence of her children, for her children will call her blessed and reverence their father.
Woe to the woman who ridicules or criticizes her husband in front of her children, for her children will rebel against her and hate their father.
Blessed is the man who honors his wife in front of his children, for his children will honor him and cherish their mother.
Woe to the man who ridicules or criticizes his wife in front of his children, for they will rebel against him and treat their mothers with scorn.
Blessed is the woman who is humble and submissive, for her husband will treat her like a queen.
Blessed is the man who is dependable and faithful, for his wife will have confidence and trust in him.
Blessed is the woman who keeps her eyes fixed on her husband’s virtues instead of his faults, for his faults will disappear.
Blessed is the man who keeps his eyes fixed on his wife’s virtues instead of her faults, for he makes her holy.
Blessed is the woman who shows affection to her husband, for she makes him strong and courageous.
Blessed is the man who shows affection to his wife, for he makes her gentle and kind.
Blessed are they who do not judge or analyze one another, for they shall not be judged.
Blessed are they who forgive their spouse, for they shall be forgiven.
Blessed are they who are made righteous by God, for they will impart righteousness to their children.
Blessed are they who are detached from everything, for everything belongs to them.
Blessed are they who know how to listen, for they shall be heard when they speak.
Blessed are they who renew their marriage vows, daily, for their honeymoon will never be over.
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